How to be more Confident & Happy.

Women's confidence is the driver behind the creation of our Signature Essence Blend.  It's based on my life experiences and observations. To illustrate my points, I will have to generalise a bit - please give me a pass on that.

In 27 years of corporate life, I did a ton of interviewing and noticed that when a man is asked for the 10 things he is best at, he lists 11.  A woman is likely to respond, 'I do X well, I am getting better at Y, I had some coaching with Z and I am hopeless at A'.  There has even been some research that shows a man is likely to apply for a job if he ticks only half the listed requirements, whereas a woman is only likely to apply if she ticks 80% or more.

When asking the boss for a salary increase, the man is likely to say; I achieved X, Y, Z and deserve an increase. The woman is more likely to say; the team is developing well, we are making progress, we are on track to make target and my new Nanny is more expensive, so I need the increase.

During internet dating, when asked to rate their looks out of 10, the man who was a 6/7 often said he is an 8/9 whereas, the woman who is an 8/9, is likely to say she is a 6/7.  By the way, this included me when I was internet dating.  We may have noticed appreciative glances in the street, but there is something inside a majority of women that makes them dial it down.  This is all about confidence.

When given a compliment the man is likely to smile and look pleased, whereas the woman is likely to counter the compliment, by highlighting a 'flaw' or commenting on how cheap or old the item is.

And yet, when you see a confident (even if it is only outwardly) woman, there is something compellingly attractive. It draws other men, women and even animals in.  I wanted to create this with our Signature Essence Blend.  So we used nature-identical molecules of animal ingredients, that have been used in perfumes to raise testosterone, confidence and attraction.  I wanted women to feel great, to add sensorial experiences, to what can sometimes be the mundanity of looking after your skin. And when people describe the smell of MERUMAYA® products, it is in terms that link to our pleasure/limbic/memory systems.  Words such as 'sexy, confident, floral, spa-like, uplifting, animalic, divine, feel-good, happy', are all used to describe the smell of our products.  A great introductory example is Melting Cleansing Balm™

Here are some key shares on the subject of confidence and the great news is, you can fake it and eventually it will be second nature.

  1. Women need to support and build each other up everyday, not just in networking events.  When you think 'she's got amazing eyebrows', tell her instead. Making another person's day, makes yours infinitely better too.
  2. When you appear confident, it draws people to you. All you have to do is; give eye contact, smile, straighten your posture, keep your shoulders back and speak clearly.  The brain believes what it see's.  Remember that swan gliding across the pond? The feet are going crazy under the water.
  3. Beware that when you appear confident, accomplished, successful and happy, some people will feel inadequate by comparison.  Rather than raise their game, they may try to undermine you, so they feel better about themselves. Men often do it to women as the relationship becomes long-term.  Even more sadly, women do it to other women.  I have had relationships where the very things in me that 'he' was attracted to, made him feel emasculated and rather than raise his game, he worked at undermining my confidence.  I have lost sales staff because other mediocre sales people in the store undermine them for being great at what they do.  If this behaviour persists in a partner or friend after you address it with them, perhaps you need to re-think whether that person should be in your life.
  4. Women need to make a best friend of themselves. Stop all the negative conversations in our heads and in front of the bathroom mirror. We need to share in and promote the #beautyhasnoage hashtag and make it a part of our thinking.
  5. It was a man who told me I was rubbish at accepting a compliment and that it is dismissive to the person who has given it. He said, 'just say Thank You and move on in the conversation'.
  6. Women need to remember how capable they are and how influential they are.  We bring life into this world.  We raise people.  We are very capable and can make decisions for ourselves. We need to stop handing over control of our 'happy', to men, friends, companies, journalists, influencers etc.

So the good news is, confidence can be faked and before you know, it's real.  Please share your tips and experiences in the comments below and if you need a boost, try our Signature Essence Blend, in most of our products.

I hope you found this useful and found a tip or two to take away and practice.  I love to support women to achieve their true potential and I'd love you to take a look at our website http://merumaya.com. There is no doubt that great skincare can make you more confident too.

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